I feel like a whiny little kid, doing something that I'm really, frankly, sick and tired of doing. Because honestly, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Lucky for me, today was my last day of chemo! This picture is the evidence of the last bag hanging and running :-)
But I find my self asking "Are we there yet?" because although I've had my last chemo treatment, I know that I still have a recovery period ahead of me. I'm still going to get sick this week. The side effects are cumulative so I will likely feel worse this week than last week and it will take me a bit longer to feel better. The good news is that this is the last time that I have to ride this particular roller coaster. I can start to look forward to the many things that I have been missing. Sleep, for example. What a treat it will be to have a regular sleep schedule again! No more steroid fueled 4 four nights, followed by 11 hour nights. Those slingshot sleep schedules have been hard to manage, and exhausting, especially since there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I know this will surprise you, but getting angry while staring at the ceiling doesn't help either.
I have also seriously missed my kitchen! I really enjoy cooking and baking. It's an important part of my role in my family and also my favorite role. I'm the caretaker in my family and to say that it's been humbling to have to admit that I can't take care of my family, in the way that I am accustomed to doing, is an understatement. Having to admit that I need help has been almost humiliating. I know it's absolutely foolish to feel this way, but I do. I know it's the treatment and that it's temporary, but still.... I am so very fortunate that we have a wonderful group of friends and family that are eager to help us. We've had some lovely meals prepared for us and some wonderful meals for our freezer for days that I just can't put a meal on the table, and I'm so very thankful for them and my friends. But I still look forward to having the energy, mental and physical, to plan and prepare it myself again. I've saved some seriously yummy sounding recipes to my recipe box on Allrecipes and pinned some great sounding recipes to my Pinterest board too. All I can say is that I hope my family has missed me in the kitchen too, because as soon as I get my sense of taste back, I'm ready to try a bunch of new recipes :-) As I learned from my Oncologist today, my taste buds are going to take longer to recover than my energy. Awesome...... But on the plus side, when I can taste food again, I'll be raring to go!
Next week I begin what I consider to be Phase 2 and Phase 3 of my treatment plan. I have my first appointment at radiology to get my radiation schedule set up and everything that goes with that. I also begin my 40 weeks of Herceptin treatment. So the "Hard Part" is almost behind me, and the finish line for that better not be a stinking mirage or somebody is going to get hurt. I'm ready to tackle the next phases!